Sunflower House, Inc.

Script of Michelle Herman’s Keynote Address

Delivered Nov. 10, 2011 to an audience of over 300 people at the Jack Reardon Civic Center in downtown Kansas City, Kansas.

In a perfect world no child will ever be hurt at the hand of an adult—but until that day comes, Wyandotte and Johnson County children have a safe place like Sunflower House to come tell their story, only once, and begin the healing process. Sunflower House began 14 years ago when the Wyandotte County Sunflower Children’s Center that was using a best practice approach for interviewing children suspected of being abused merged with the Johnson County Coalition for the Prevention of Child Abuse that was advocating for child abuse laws and educating the community on how to recognize and report suspected abuse.

Today, Sunflower House is a premier Children’s Advocacy Center.  We PARTNER with educators, law enforcement, child protective workers, and therapists to provide a CIRCLE OF SAFETY for children. Last year we…

• EDUCATED
• 14,000 4-7 year old children how to RECOGNIZE, RESIST and REPORT any unwelcome touches,
• And another 3200 middle school youth how to keep safe from predators while using their electronic devices,
• Last year we PROTECTED AND ADVOCATED for 547 Johnson and Wyandotte Counties children suspected of being physically or sexually abused by conducting specialized interviews and medical examinations,
• a 19% increase from the year before!

As I meet people and they ask me what I do, many wince or make a comment like “I don’t know how you do it!  I don’t even want to think about those things!”

• I know people don’t want to hear about child abuse!
• I know the subject is uncomfortable to talk about!
• I understand we’d rather pretend it did not happen.
• But it does!

As tough as it is to believe, children are beaten, burned with scalding water or cigarettes, molested, raped, threatened, forced to engage in sexual behaviors, sometimes even prostituted EVERY DAY by people they love and trust!

• Right here in Kansas!
• Right here in Wyandotte and Johnson Counties!
• Children in your neighborhoods!
• In your schools!
• In your places of worship!

We know that 1:4 girls and 1:6 boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18.
90% of them by someone they know and trust.

And at Sunflower House it is even higher!  99- 100% of the children we see were abused by someone whom they could name.
Look around you!  That means that statistically two or more people at your table were sexually assaulted as a child.

Today you are going to hear from two women, Hailey and Jennifer, who were molested by the same predator 35 years apart.  Their stories are gut-wrenching!

Hailey kept her secret for 9 years–9 years of not being able to tell anyone what happened. Fortunately, Hailey was lucky enough to come to Sunflower House to finally tell her story. For her, the healing process began because someone listened and believed her.  And because of her testimony the perpetrator was convicted and sentenced for life!

Jennifer was not as fortunate.  Her abuse happened in a time when child sexual abuse was not was well known or understood, and places like Sunflower House did not exist.  She kept her secret for over 35 years and suffered in silence—no one KNEW and no one protected her.  Still today, as she talks about her molestation the FEAR and the PAIN is as real as it was when she was a vulnerable child.

As I listened to her tell Jennifer’s story, tears filled my eyes, and I was compelled to apologize that Sunflower House was not here when she needed us.
Please consider this:  What if Sunflower House is NOT here for children like Jennifer and Hailey in the future?

I know all of you in this room value the service that we provide but without your support, Sunflower House is not sustainable.

I think the public assumes that because we do a great service for the community, we are well funded by government and other sources.  But the truth is we are not.  Only one third of our funding comes from government sources, and the rest must come from private sources.  As we’ve experienced incremental cuts in government grants and United Way funding, it puts more of a reliance on private philanthropy to continue our mission.

It is tough for nonprofits to raise money, particularly in this difficult economy, and we have not been left unscathed.  We are lucky to have the financial support of many foundations, corporations, businesses, civic groups, and caring individuals.

But foundations we’ve depended upon in the past to fund our programs have seen millions of dollars evaporate from their endowments…making it impossible for them to fund all the requests they receive.
Sometimes I think people look at our beautiful facility and think we are in good shape financially.  But, even though our building is paid for, like any business there are ongoing operational costs and bills to pay every month.  We have the salaries of our staff, the utilities, insurance and upkeep of our wonderful facility, the fees of translators, and the costs of mileage to travel to schools and court hearings, and many other expenses.

We’ve tightened our belt, reduced expenses, and even cut several staff while serving more children.  Our programs have remained intact—so far—but if we have to cut further it will negatively impact the number of children we’ll be able to EDUCATE or PROTECT!

No nonprofit I know is enjoying these economic times.  And yet as challenging as some of these moments are for us, we also know that many of the families we serve are under even more stress when the economy falters.  Sunflower House needs to be more available during these times—not less available!  These kids can’t wait for the economy to pick up.  They need us now.  Who is going to PROTECT them if we don’t?  We are THE ONLY Children’s Advocacy Center serving Wyandotte and Johnson Counties!  There is no one else in our community to fill this need.

My VISION for Sunflower House is:

• that EVERY Johnson and Wyandotte child sees our Happy Bear play, knows the difference between WELCOME and UNWELCOME touches and can identify a caring adult to TELL if they need to
• that we are able to reinforce those messages at least THREE times at various ages for each of those same children
• that we have enough staff to respond affirmatively to EVERY request to do a Happy Bear Play, online safety class, and every course we offer for adults in child abuse identification and prevention
• and MOST OF ALL that we are ALWAYS HERE for children like Hailey and Jennifer if they need us!

This past year I met someone in the community who asked me where I worked.  I told her Sunflower House and asked if she was familiar with us.

• Her head lowered and her voice shook with emotion as she said to me quietly, “yes…unfortunately, her two sons were molested by a foster child a few years ago, and they came to Sunflower House to tell their story.
• She said she received wonderful support from our staff during this time of crisis and disbelief in their family.
• And she ended with something I’d never forgotten.
• She said, “don’t ever underestimate the value of the Teddy Bear Showroom, where at the end of the visit the children get to take a stuffed animal or other treasure home with them.
• She said, years later, as teenagers, my boys still have the teddy bears in their rooms from their visit at Sunflower House!”

With the help of the community, we have done amazing things at Sunflower House.  In the past 14 years, Sunflower House staff EDUCATED hundreds of thousands of Johnson and Wyandotte County children to recognize unwelcome touches, practice resistance skills, and learn to report to a trusted adult.
Sunflower House has been a place of HOPE during and after the investigative process for thousands of children who have fallen victim to abuse.
Our medical staff documented injuries and made sure the children are healthy, and AS importantly reassured them their abuse was NOT their fault and they will be okay.

The truth of the matter is THIS:

• No matter how insulated we feel we are from the dangers of this world!
• No matter how much we love and care for the children in our lives…our children, our nieces and nephews, our grandchildren…
• We cannot always protect them from the real dangers of physical and sexual abuse.

What if there is a time when YOU needed Sunflower House for someone you love?
And we weren’t here!

At Sunflower House…

WE PROTECT and advocate for children and families recovering from the effects of sexual and physical abuse.
WE PARTNER with law enforcement to bring perpetrators to justice
WE EDUCATE kids in Johnson and Wyandotte County schools.
WE ARE a place of Hope!
 
But we cannot be there for children without your help!

I believe that there is great capacity in this room.  I know you are people who CARE for children, and want to keep SAFE–not only those you personally know and love, but all the children in Johnson and Wyandotte Counties.

Please choose to PARTNER with us, to become part of our CIRCLE OF SAFETY, and help us PROTECT the precious children of our community.